So this whole year or shall I say month (less dramatic), has been nothing but cheap promises to myself that I would wake up in the morning, eat a nice healthy breakfast, put on my running shoes and start exercising. I thought maybe I will jump on the bandwagon and lose some weight so maybe I can show off some results pictures on Instagram or Youtube. That would be nice. To have all the attention I can get from internet users and random people telling me I “inspire” them. Honestly it didn’t sound like a bad idea to me. I know what your thinking, “attention whore”. But really, that would be nice to have. I mean hey, you wouldn’t get that everyday. And maybe, just maybe, my video I made myself on video maker would go viral and I would be contacted by Dr. Oz or Ellen. Or maybe even the Today Show. So they can show the world it is possible for a regular lazy girl to get off her ass and lose a whopping 100 pounds! And show people that everything is possible!
Back really, that would be like those “one in a million” type things….
I’ve been thinking about an alternative. Instead of wanting to lose weight because I want to be accepted and feel beautiful and skinny like the girls on California beach; I could lose weight to simply be healthier. I mean in my condition, I really need this. I have already had surgery to take out my appendix, and gallstones. I wasn’t even 21 when that happened! That is just not healthy. People usually get gallstones taken out when they’re much older. Perhaps 40’s, 50’s, or later. I just ate so much bad food because it was comforting. Bad day? Well have some fucking ice cream. Oh your sad? Here, more ice cream!
Not healthy at all.
At fifteen I was also told I was pre-diabetic. I will tell you now, I so do not want that to happen. But odds are that it could. And maybe it will. Diabetes runs in my family. All my grandparents have it. And my dad even has it. He’s in his early forties. That’s scary. Disease is so near me. In fact it’s all around me. I am Native American. Aside from alcoholics (which I will get to in a sec.), diabetes is pretty common. No, not every one has it, but if I had to guess, I’d say majority. And its sad. I don’t want to become a diabetic. I don’t want to have to limit the amount of sugar I take daily. And if it just so happens I eat to much sugar, I have to give myself a shot somewhere in my body. That is scary. I don’t even like shots!
I also live a life where drinking alcohol is something I do at least once a week. And when I drink, I drink a lot! It seems to be that I can’t stop drinking once I get started. I drink until I actually feel like I am getting buzzed. And by the time that happens, it’s too late. I get so smashed I get crazy. I dance if there’s music playing, I flirt with guys, even girls, a few times I would be talking and I would just throw myself onto whomever I was with and start making out. Ugh, that sounds disgusting but it’s true.
Back to the health topic, drinking isn’t something I should do until I know I can handle myself, and limit myself. Alcohol is bad for your body. Your brain slows down. It can turn into sugar in your blood stream, and it changes your ethics. And if you drink enough of it, you grow a little (and a lot of times big) beer belly. Which I hear is harder to get rid off. Yep, lot’s of unnecessary sit ups could have been avoided.
I think that drinking and eating junk foods is my main obstacles that I see will be in my way. I can either take the easy way out and eat, drink, eat. Or I can learn to say FUCK NO! Hahaa. But really though, if I can say no to McDonalds, and ice cream, and constant laziness. I can actually make some progress for myself. I can reverse the cycle of diabetes in me before it’s here, and become the fit healthy person I want to be.
A lot of positive thoughts for me. I feel like if I had more support, I could even push myself to have some results. If ever there is a blogger reading this that has there own personal journeys, please comment and let me know, I love supporting others and hearing feedback for myself.
Before I finish up this post, let me tell you my start line….
My name is Randi.
I am 20 years young.
My main goal is to weigh 150 pounds.
My current weight as of 01/27/14: 198 pounds
Weight to lose: 48 pounds
Thank your very much for reading!